The stars in the night sky are pretty. When night falls and everyone goes to sleep is when they shine. They only show themselves to the people who are troubled by their thoughts, unable to sleep late at night. Only to those who make an effort to look up and admire them or, like myself, find comfort in them. The stars are nothing like the moon, they make no attempt to shine brightly for people who will not appreciate them, lighting up so many street lights as though to make fun of how dim it glows. Staring up at the night I can’t help but desire to be like the stars. Hiding in the day, away from all the hustle and bustle of the cities, away from all the busy places filled by people and away from the feeling of drowning in the noise from thousands of talking heads. They rather come out at night, to be greeted by peace and quiet, to flicker, to blink and to wave to those who are millions of lightyears away.
I lie in bed looking out the window right beside me, the curtains gently swaying in the warm summer breeze. Why can’t I drift off to sleep when I close my eyes? Maybe it is because I will open my eyes to the morning and everything will make me feel overwhelmed. What’s the point of worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet? When days felt like they would never end I would escape everything by dreaming. Even sleep doesn’t seem to be an escape these days.
Long ago in my dreams, I fell asleep with a book on my chest, a profound sense of serenity completely surrounding me in a way that I almost drowned in it. I swam in lakes and vast oceans with so many kinds of fish, I danced with the tides that washed me up onto shores with stars as sand. There I laid and watched the birds that flew above, sometimes stopping to sit on the highest branches of trees to tell me stories of the furthest lands I had never even dreamed of being to. I strolled through the toughest of forests with a calm smile on my face. I shared the warmth the trees felt with the last rays of sunlight gently illuminating their leaves. Now every time I close my eyes I know I have forgotten how to dream.
I rub my eyes and rest my arm on my forehead. Summer nights in this place have always been a great time to reflect on how things have been but to be quite honest at this moment I feel as though thousands of thoughts are all rushing through my mind at the same time so I’m just mindlessly staring at the stars blocking out every single one of them. It’s hard having to live a day-to-day life so every now and then I wonder if I’m a shooting star that strayed a little too far from home and landed on earth but then again when the morning comes that seems like a silly thought to have.