Absurd Love

In 1982, when I was in middle school, a new girl came to my class. The girl’s name was Aku. He was a foreign national. The girl didn’t speak at all when she came to the class. Most girls tried to talk to her at first especially the popular girls of the school trying to add a new person to their team but the girl never opened her mouth and therefore the popular girls bullied her, made fun of her instead of understanding her. When I looked at that girl, I saw myself in an instant. I was the loser of the class, the person who had almost no friends. As hard as it was for me, it was just as helpful.


 I am far from my friends tribune, I have money to spend on myself… I found a book in the library at home, and when I asked my mother, I learned that it was my deceased father’s favorite book. As much as it shook me, I really wanted to read a book. There was a flower on the cover of the book and an eye in the middle of the flower, it looked very interesting. I started the day I found the book. I was trying to read at every opportunity, on the way to school in the morning, during lunch break at school, and on the way home from school in the evening. One day at lunch break I was reading that book and Aku was there too, I could see him looking at me and taking a deep breath and staring at the ceiling. When our eyes met, he jumped out of the classroom in a very quick way. I was surprised, I couldn’t understand why he did such a thing. She didn’t come back after he left the class that day, so I fell asleep in the last lesson, and when I woke up, the scene in front of me stunned me. Next to the battery were 4 paint cans and brushes. She was looking at me smiling. When I asked him why he had paints and brushes with him, he asked me if I loved this world. All of a sudden I found myself telling all my problems to Aku. I guess I didn’t know why I was doing this, being bullied in this world and not getting attention from your family brought certain problems.


 While tears were flowing from my eyes, I told all my problems to Aku. I was feeling happy for the first time even though I had tears in my eyes and Aku asked me if you wanted to make a mess and gave me a paint can and a brush. She opened the paint can and spilled it on the floor, destroyed the desks, wrote curses on the walls, and I found myself destroying the whole class, I was writing curses everywhere, writing curses on life, teachers, bullies, people, and Aku suddenly pointed a knife at me, I was so scared at that moment that I was so horrified that I was on the road with her. threatening me to follow it was sheer, superlative thrill…

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