In Between Reality

In Between Reality

I got out of my dorm room in a hurry. After running down the stairs, I was out of breath but that did not stop me from walking in full speed. My body was feeling all of the negative emotions I could have possibly felt at that moment however I was capable of keeping my expression ice cold. Hiding how I felt was one of the best things I did since I wanted to throw all of my thoughts to his face, the face that used to erase all of my stress became the face I couldn’t stand a minute more.

It didn’t take more than 15 minutes to walk to his house. I banged my hands as hard as I could against his door, waiting for an answer. I used to be afraid of coming to this old house all alone but at that moment I felt like I could destroy that house to the ground. I kicked the door making it open with a loud sound. I wasn’t expecting the door to break so after getting myself together, I walked in. I yelled his name, I couldn’t hear anything but my voice. He was nowhere to be seen. I went in all of the rooms one by one except the one he always has kept locked. I slowly reached to that door and it surprisingly was open, for the first time in my, and probably his life. The room was painted in white and there was a light grey couch in the corner, which he was laying on. I approached to him in seconds. “Wake up.” I said while shaking him by his shoulder. He didn’t open his eyes, which I thought was unusual since he was a light sleeper. He must have been acting out since he knew I was furious after what he did. “Wake up.” I yelled again and grabbed him by his arm. Nothing changed. It didn’t take long for me to realize he was unconscious. I looked around the room to see anything that would make him pass out but the room was tidier than the other rooms. I started to panic when I realized the empty pill bottle on the ground. I placed my shaking hand on his chest. His heart was not beating. “Is this a joke?” I yelled as a tear dropped on the ground. I slowly grabbed his wrist. It was harder for me to check his pulse while I couldn’t clearly see because of the tears rushing to my eyes. He was dead.  I yelled his name as I nearly fainted. I was laying on the ground crying in tears, sweating. I couldn’t see, I couldn’t think, I couldn’t breathe. The last thing I remember was closing my eyes next to him not knowing what to do.

I woke up in my bed. I had an intense headache. It was all a dream. I got out of my bed in the speed of light. All I could think of was hugging him and saying I did not want to lose him, even though I hadn’t done anything wrong and he would be the one to lose me. I ran to his house, getting flashbacks from the nightmare in every step I took. I banged his door until my hands have hurt. He opened the door, blinking his eyes. I hugged him as I saw his face. I felt his arms around my waist. “I’m sorry.” He whispered. It was maybe the hundredth time I was hearing those words. I started crying because I have never been good at holding my emotions. I went to the room which I saw him in my dream. That door was never locked but the dream was so real that it made me doubt. I reached to the couch while he was making me a coffee in the kitchen. I saw a notepaper on the couch and slowly read it. “If you are giving him another chance, you are willing to make a fool of yourself again.” As I reached to the paper, it disappeared. I put a smile on my face, like I always did after seeing things and laid down on the couch just like the way I saw him in my dream and closed my eyes. Losing him, would be a worse nightmare than what I have seen.

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