Lonely

Let’s say you are the most beautiful fruit-bearing tree in an endless forest. If there is no one around to eat our fruits that you grow and impress with their taste, what’s the point of being beautiful? Everyone wants to be beautiful, everyone wants to be successful, and as human beings everybody always wants more than they have. So why do all humans want all this? The answer is very simple: We are afraid that there will be no one around to value us. Because if only you exist in that huge forest, you are actually the worst as well as the most beautiful.

I feel scared, at the the same time i feel cold. Is there anybody to hug me? Is there anybody can hear me? No answer. Like a little child, i lost my way, there is nobody to set light through the road that i walk in. Mistakes in my life, earthquakes in my heart, flashbacks in my mind. All alone, i stay awake all night long. My thoughts were whispers, now they are the the loudest scream that the world have ever heard. Even i cannot hear my own voice. I wish there was someone who could close my ears, hold my fears and kiss my lips to kill my loneliness. I am not enough brave to be murderer. If I were a courageous person, I would not be that pathetic. Actually, I could handle it if there was someone who could give their hand everytime I felt down. But.. here, alone.

Some people look for a soulmate in order to lean on their shoulder in their bad times. However, I want to share my happiness with any one else. Since I can not, my happiness is getting smaller and smaller and suddenly disappear. Nothing in my hand but my mind is full of how i gain my weakness. A corner of my heart is still empty. I do not know why, maybe i did something wrong, maybe they painted me wrong or I did not invite anybody or nobody wanted to be a part of me. 

Is there anybody help me? No apply. Lies are told, truths are faded. But, my destiny did not change at all. I could not find what was wrong with me, I could not ask for help because there is nobody. No matter how I am pretty or nice or kind if no one around me. 

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