Loud Thoughts

A garden can not consist of only one tree, if it does, that wouldn’t make it a garden. A tree takes root and pullulates itself. When you are lonely, you are this crescent tree. As well as you don’t need to be on your tod. Have hundreds of people surrounding you, you will feel that loneliness in spite of everything. Reckon your favorite spot in town. Most probably you know everyone and are never alone. When you leave, walking home, you see many shops, cafes, parks and more. Approximately hundreds of people, all different heads, all different thoughts. But you are all alone among them. This scenario applies anywhere at any time.
Now you are on your way to work, on the bus, subway, or your car, it doesn’t matter. Examine subway for this one, eyes left, you know no one, no one knows you, that’s all that you are left with, your mind. And believe me, it is better than most of the people. You create other personalities with your mind, they are the plant that pullulated themselves. Now you see, forming a garden, take care of your plants so they don’t get under or overwatered. Is this bipolar? No, maybe yes. It is not the issue here. You just can not be lonely. Your head will be louder than ever when you are alone. That’s why people prefer to be alone while working, or when they need to concentrate, just like how I am all alone right now in writing this blog.
Sometimes the person you think is alone is sometimes the most crowded person with their loudest thoughts. There are many reasons to abstract yourself from outside, maybe you are too careless to care. It’s valid. But how long can you keep this abstraction? Most probably until you have gone completely mad. Loneliness drives you to realize how disgusting things are. Jean-Paul Sartre says “If you are lonely when you are alone, you are in bad company.” This is what drives you mad.

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