Sleeplessness

It is 3:30 AM and I am still awake inspite of the fact that I have to go to school tomorrow. I am getting more anxious minute by minute. My roommate fell asleep four hours ago and I am still crying desperately. I don’t want to experience this stress every night, in fact I don’t even want it to be night anymore. My condition is deteriorating every night I spend in the dormitory. I opened my phone and started reading articles about how to prevent insomnia from making your life miserable. I cannot stand it anymore and –as always- I started crying. It is the exams week and I will have to attend the exams with a lack of sleep that will stop my brain from working. The two girls in the next room talked for hours –they stopped only half an hour before- with a loud and disturbing noise. I got three sleeping pills in order to make myself relax and fall asleep and even though it was an extremely high dose, I could not sleep. I am not able to take it anymore. Every single night before I sleep, I get anxious and stressed because of the thought of staying up all night. In fact, I was in a really bad place that for the first time in my life I fell asleep in a lesson. Although I don’t show it to anyone, I am a complete mess. Now, I was crying even harder because of the possibility of me, getting addicted to sleeping pills. Before I started staying in the dorm, I never had a sleeping issue: I was falling asleep in thirty minutes and sleeping for eight hours. Okay, I really can’t do this anymore, I have to call my mom. While the phone was ringing I looked at the time, it was 4:10 now. My mom answered the phone with a sleepy voice. I only told her one thing: I am so sorry for calling you at this hour but enough is enough, I am leaving this place and coming home.

 

1 Month Later…

After saying good night to everyone, I went to my room to sleep. I wasn’t sad because it is night, I wasn’t scared of the possibility of not being able to fall asleep. It was an anxiety relief for me. Starting from the very first day I started staying in the dorm, my sleeping problems emerged. My brain was encoded as I wasn’t going to sleep another night I spend in there. It was all about the place. I was getting weaker day by day. It turns out that my mind was playing tricks on me. Because all we know is you cannot fool your body you can only fool your mind, and you can do that very good.

 

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