Someone Else’s Protagonist

My favorite protagonist is not an easy person. I don’t think he enjoys being a protagonist, even.  If he were given the reins of his own life, he would probably choose to disappear from the face of the world without a single trace left behind. The first thing you notice about him is everything that is negative about him. His wrecked image of the world around him, unfunny sense of humour that tends to offend an important amount of people, the way he makes an antagonist out of himself and lastly, the unnecessary amount of effort he puts into being positive about his surroundings. So much that’s it turns everything about him negative. In a way, I think that prevents him from seeing the good in himself.

However, he also has a heart big enough to balance out all the bad things about him. My favorite protagonist is not a protagonist, because he never lived for himself. Not for a single moment in his life had he put his own needs in front of other people’s. He never managed to see the good in himself, therefore he made sure other people had plenty in themselves. He spent hours, days, weeks even helping people that were not going to remember his name or
existence. He refused to leave a trace behind that would make the world remember him when he’s gone. Maybe because he was too afraid of what the world had to say to him, or because he simply thought he did not deserve to be remembered. But he made sure other people did it for him. He helped them leave noticeable marks without getting any credit for it.

I do not think I would change anything even if I were in his shoes, actually. I do not think he had the best life and I, personally, would not be able to live such a life where I would constantly stay in the shadows of others. On the other hand, I think the amount of selflessness he has is what makes him the person he is and also my favorite protagonist. It is something that takes up great courage, which a lot of people including myself lack. So I would not change a single thing about him. My protagonist helps other people be protagonist. I just truly hope he can find the courage to help himself be an actual protagonist one day too.

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