The Storm

It depends where it starts , what triggers it, the setting, how loud it is, whether it affects her 5 senses or if she starts shaking, raindrops? She will cry maybe. A panic attack like storms raging on the rolling sea.

It’s all so complicated how these dark dark clouds appear in her mind.She’s the only witness facing the chaos inside. It sometimes starts out slow. A few droplets of rain slowly start coming down. She starts crying just like that but, if those emotions weren’t fed with uncontrollable thoughts, the longest emotional roller coaster would last about 1,5 minutes long. Just as the vultures start circling the dark clouds gathered together in her head, the first lightning strikes. A loud bang echoed in her mind. She’s scared, alone listening to her own thoughts like weapons pointed at her deepest hurt. It feels tingly, almost pokes her skin. The sound banging in her head. The worst headache there is. 

Then she is on a big island, all alone. She looks behind to see a giant pile of trees. A forest maybe? It’s dark. She assumes it’s night time but, she soon will figure out that she is wrong. She looks up in the sky. That’s when she realizes it’s not the nighttime, but instead there are dark, dark clouds rumbling in the sky. She immediately runs into the forest to find shelter. It felt like the thunder was following alongside her. She ran as fast as her legs allowed her to but not once did the thunder slowed down. It got louder and louder. She was afraid she would get struck by lightning. 

After what felt like hours of running in the trees with the storm and thunder only getting louder she stopped and took a deep breath. At this moment for a quick moment she even forgot what she was running from and focused on how sore and heavy her legs felt. Once she looked up she once again remembered what she was running from. 

She ran for hours and hours on end. At this point she has lost track of where she was and passed out cold because of how tired she was.

She woke up after who knows how much time. It wasn’t like you could tell the time by looking at the sky. It was always blocked by these dark gray clouds. 

Once she opened her eyes the first thing she saw was a tree nearby get struck with lightning. Panic filled her insides. She got up and  with all the power she had left and started running even faster than before.

This time it felt like it was even closer than before.  Felt like she had to run faster and faster. Felt like the moment she stopped running away from this horrible mess, that would be it. Felt like the sky was rumbling even louder and the rain falling harder. 

This chase followed like that for a while. She ran, the dark clouds chased. Then she saw something. She was sure she did but was too afraid to go near it. She was scared that if she stopped the dark clouds would swallow her up. She knew she was tired though. So she decided to cautiously go near what seemed like a tree house. 

After a few minutes she stopped focusing all her attention on the storm and instead directed it towards the tree house. She took a few steps and climbed the ladder and got in. She saw some food and realised how hungry she was. She helped herself to a snack and realised once she stopped focusing on the storm going on outside she felt like it calmed down a bit. 

As soon as the thought crossed her mind a nearby tree got struck by lightning and there was a loud thud once the tree fell down. 

This time though instead of freaking out she realised that she was the one controlling the thunder. She realised that the less she focused on the thunder, was the safest and most calm she felt. She also realised that she was safer. 

So she decided that she was going to stay in the tree house and keep living her life despite the thunderstorm that bothered her so much. Once she implemented that mindset into her daily life, she even got sunny days and rainbows after rain. That had no trace of those dark clouds behind. After dealing with the storm for what felt like lasted a lifetime. She couldn’t belive the antidote was to sit with it all along.

Something that seems distant and impossible may suddenly become imminant and possible.

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