Sun is up in the sky again and the moon is nowhere to be seen unlike the nights of this lonely city. Dreams have ended even before the realization hit the dreamers. Cozy sides of the beds are getting colder and people are cursing out the day for showing up like it wasn’t supposed to do.
The world is getting more colorful after a couple of dark hours and the flowers are smiling even though everyone is blinded by the pressure of their responsibilities. Nobody is thinking about the future and just getting used to doing whatever they are doing for the past years like the machines that they are turning into.
I was also on my way to work but you know what they say, money is the reason we exist. Even though the tiredness is getting to me more than yesterday and the days are turning out the same as any other day, I need to work so in the end, I can finally rest. As the grey building that I am heading to becomes bigger in my eyes I search for my boss’s car instead of observing the sky and the clouds like I used to do in my childhood.
I get into the building after finding no signs of him or his car in the parking lot. I see the papers that are scattered on my desk waiting for me to sit on the chair that I spend hours on and get addicted to the feeling of productivity for my job. I do as they want and ignore the rioting voice that is ringing inside my head.
After hours of work, I finally start to feel the building back pain showing itself on the surface of the water called ignorance. I look up to the white ceiling after my body aches and begs me to take a little rest. I consider my dreams after my retirement again and find a couple of stupid details and erase them from my bucket list for the future. It makes me feel a bit blue out of nowhere to think that all this work is just to rest after years of suffering.
I think about the beach that I want to visit and imagine myself looking at the long line that seems like the ending of the ocean. But I don’t want to stop my adventures just there, no. I want to go to Malaysia and maybe Hawaii. Not just to swim or to look at the sea but to also lay down and enjoy the sun and to explore the city and the little shops that are selling little things that I can never find in any other place.
I consider leaving my life behind just to live up to my dreams but I can’t help and think, what would happen to the people that are counting on me? Tired, so tired. My voice echos in my head. Yeah, I’m just tired. I think about being selfish again. I’ve done enough, haven’t I?
I shake my head and get back to the reality and find myself in the silent office, in front of my table with the work that I was working on. I still have time, I think to myself. I can rest later.