It was nine o’clock. I woke up goofy, didn’t remember anything that happened yesterday. I couldn’t think of anything, to say or budge. I wasn’t even able to inquire myself… Which I do most of the time. I wasn’t able to remember anything but my back thoughts which I also describe as my embracing, the very much I think, pretty much who I am in my mind didn’t disappear. But that was a doom behind the hope that I now conquered to start up everything again, to everything that indwelled on me to not ooze away was my biggest calamity out of my biggest prodigy but that got me wondering why did I hate myself that much to not suicide but change. I wasn’t hating myself to death actually I was loving myself to survive.
Three hours later I woke up, at least I thought I did but indeed it was an ambiguous convolution that I wasn’t trying to get rid of at that time but later on it become a knot that I couldn’t astringe. Like a scribble with grisly black darkness that swallows me. Had I known this eddy would engulf me this much then I would do anything to prevent what I am senseless through right now. I knew that everything that was, wasn’t real. This was a chimerical parallel world or something. But I realized I had to go back to where it started. If I couldn’t remember anything then I would be lost, lost out of this world or reality. Maybe this luminous place was my utopia or subconsciousness. I started to see lines nested. And I beamed up to another bureau, that was when I realized I was stuck out in my mind. After a while, the sounds husked and the sight blurred, I was surrendering myself to my mind as if we were divided into two coalesce. From now on two fighters were in the arena, for the beyond reason my mind was playing tricks on me like it did want to kill me or capture as it were we the hostiles of each other like I was doing something wrong and needed to be precluded.
It took me 2 seconds to blink my eyes severely and what I mean by severely is that I held them closed and thrust until I woke up and when I woke up I saw a big truck on the margin of my face. Then I understand the premeditated game of my very own mind. Everything was moving in slow-mo and the truck was getting closer to my face as the time passed by. I tried to move or outrun but non of them worked out… I was stuck in my place as if there was a nail driven in my feet aggregating to where I stand. I figured out that the only way of escaping was going back to my thoughts and profound mind. But after that hair-raising moment, various things came to my mind; what if I died and this is the premortem of reality or what if all I had seen was a dream. Then I tried to open my eyes again and for this time, I wasn’t in a midway of a hill, terrified and nonplussed that I am face to face with a truck. I was rather in a hospital bed, sluggardly opening my eyes and inclining through what the doctor was saying next door. Even though I fully focused to hear what she said, my mind was still fainted to process anything, until my mom came to my hospital room and said with suffused eyes that I was saved. But who saved me? Or what happened to me? No words did she say, just waited a couple more seconds, looked me in the eye then continued “You saved your own life, my dear.”