War Fear

I woke up to the sound of guns again. I could only sleep for two hours and I can only sleep once in two days. As you can understand, I’m a soldier in a war who is trying to help his country. 


These are the good days of the war because I can close my eyes even for a short time. We had times when no one couldn’t even blink their eyes. Days here are hard but not complicated. If you try to look above the trench basically you get shot and you know the rest of it. Here it is very loud, enemies never stop shooting but there is no problem until someone gets shot. When someone gets shot it comes with panic, seeing blood… it’s very horrible to see it. It was a day again I didn’t sleep. I was trying to look above the trench with my eye’s corner. Then I heard something drop near me. I turned my head, saw the grenade and immediately started to run away. A big explosion occurred in the trench. When I hardly opened my eyes I couldn’t hear anything because I had a weird sound making an echo in my ears. I saw my old friend Martin on the other side, he was trying to yell at me like “Antho…”. His sound suddenly disappeared. I could hardly see what happened but I could guess it. I didn’t want to believe it but it happened. Martin was on the ground and there was blood everywhere. I fell down near him and waited for others to come. Some soldiers came after a time and took Martin away. By night our commander came to me and told me how he’s sorry but I didn’t respond because I was still in shock, trying to put the pieces together. Even months later I couldn’t overcome Martin’s death. We were making jokes at each other to not lose our minds but after he’s gone I was only trying to look above the trench the whole day. Again it was a night that I slept. In the morning I woke up suddenly and I saw an enemy soldier standing in front of me and smiling. He hit my head with the back of his rifle. When I regained my consciousness, I was in the middle of a forest with the enemy soldiers. They were laughing at each other. Then one of them pointed his gun at me and “BANG!”. 


Then it was all dark, then I heard a shrill sound. Everything happened one thing after another… I realized I was at the airport when I came to myself. First, I checked my body and there was nothing. Then I looked around and realized that it was a nightmare. I think coming back to a country where you had war once has some effects on you.

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