Dear me,
When I was a kid, I would always promise myself dearly that I would become what I desire. I still wish that upon me now, given that I am not yet the age where I can keep control of my decisions freely. Maybe that is the reason why I’m writing to you with such passion now, pacing back and forth and stumbling between my own words even when it’s written.
Would it be wrong if I asked that if my expectations came to life? That I finally felt connected to something I actually lived for and not survived? It does sound impossible, but maybe that is just because the impossible lines I draw to myself that my age brings.
I just hope that I finally am able to cope with whatever stress I have in my body, if not, though, that is okay as well. 26 is not that mature of an age anyway, we are still growing, forgetting and learning. I would like to think that no matter the age span, we always do grow, at least in a way where our bodies can’t comprehend anymore nevertheless our minds still can.
It is weird indeed to think that you are still me, possibly reading this and laughing at how odd all my hopes for the future were. However, if there is even the tiniest chance of imagining this letter gave you what you exactly needed, I would like to take it instantly.
Do people still ask invasive questions? Do they still judge me on the bases I didn’t choose and won’t be able to? That is probably a ridiculous question, of course they will. Most of us nowadays succumb to the feeling of letting down others to make ourselves feel better, for some reason. I always thought about how that would work. I’m not going to ask if we found an answer for that, because there isn’t truly one and I don’t want to picture myself of doing what I’ve been against at.
This age is simply funny if I could summarize it with one word. We all think we have the knowledge of many things when we actually have no idea of most. I do have an opinion that will never, change, though, which is that I will be embarrassed upon reading this 10 years later, but still be the proudest ever. Giving advices to a timeline where there is a possibility I might not even exist is unnecessary, if you ask me, but if I had to write one I would just recommend to stay true to yourself. I’m sure it will be worth more than any gem.
See you later!