It seemed like a typical day. The room, bed, and curtains were all the same when I woke up. I hurried to work after getting dressed. I chose to take the bus rather than wait for the subway because I was already running late. At the bus stop, another woman was waiting. She continued to read the book without looking up. The bus eventually showed up after a short while. I stood up and held up my hand, feeling the wind caress my sleeve while the driver paid me no attention at all. He, the woman at the stop, and the store owner across the street were all unable to see me. I hurried into the store and seized the first mirror I came across. Nothing; the reflection was absent.
At first, I was unsure of how to feel. With my mind racing, I took the first action that came to mind. I ran as quickly as I could. Large crowds grew out of empty streets. I ran into people who were perplexed. I was invisible to everyone. There were no expectations, no forced smiles, no explanations owed to anyone, and for a while that was thrilling.
I visited places I wouldn’t normally go. I lingered next to strangers during heated conversations, wandered through cafés, and stood silently in the back. I heard arguments that continued as if I didn’t exist and laughter that wasn’t intended for me. The excitement subsided as the hours went by and was replaced by something heavier and more difficult to describe.
Being invisible stopped feeling like a strength and started to feel like evidence of a fear I never had. The world continued to move forward. It didn’t search for me. I wasn’t even missed by it. It just continued. I believed that I was unimportant and that my existence wasn’t necessary.
I was sitting by myself on a park bench in the evening, watching the sky grow darker. When loneliness stopped trying to hide, I wondered if this was what it looked like. After that, it became empty and dark. Nothing to hear, nothing to see. I felt as though I was being drawn up to the sky as I got to my feet. I felt a wave of relief. At last, I felt at ease.