From a young age, many of us are taught that success holds a very specific definition. If you have good grades, teachers praise constantly you and you are considered the “smart kid”; congratulations, you are a successful student.
There is a reason why we feel the way we do. External validation activates the reward system of our brains, and when our effort is acknowledged with adult approval (such as parents or teachers) or grades, this provides us a sense of value and that we are a good student; a successful person, even though life is so much more than school!
Especially for teenagers, school is one of the key environments where identities are shaped. Achieving “success” can feel like the one and only proof of worth and intelligence.
The problem arises when academic validation becomes the only way to define who a person is. A single poor grade may make a student feel worthless or just a judgement of who they are. Over time, this wrong mindset can lead to anxiety, exhaustion, and even the constant fear of not being enough; this can easily affect one’s adulthood and the way that they see themselves.
What grades and rankings fail to reflect are the qualities that matter just as much in real life! Creativity, emotional intelligence, curiosity and much more. These values are what actually makes us humans. An individual can be very smart without doing that well in school, just as someone with top grades may struggle in areas other than academics. Both are completely normal.
Academics can be better handled when it is seen as one of the many aspects of life, rather than its whole. Education is a powerful way to grow, and it must help you understand yourself and the world around you; rather than determining your value based on grades. True validation comes from oneself, not external approval. When we learn to appreciate and love ourselves, accept that we are so much more than our academic scores, school becomes what it was always meant to be: an encouragement, not a definition of who students are as individuals.