Our traumas, our fears that we face in every moment of our lives, our anxieties, our escapes… I mean those events that turn even our happy moments into terrifying moments. Unfortunately, I also have a great trauma, and this experience causes terrible things to happen in my head, not only when I’m in public, but even when I’m sitting in a room alone.
I was very young, I was 11, I was playing with my friends in the park like every kid. My entire day was spent as ordinary and normal as a completely happy child should live until I left the park to go home. I said goodbye to my friends while walking home with the thought of playing in the park again tomorrow, the street lights suddenly turned off.It was around afternoon, but it was still dark, I started walking home with a little running steps I was in the back street of my house I heard someone calling me :’’ Hey look at me!’’. I didn’t look, it was already dark and I was afraid, then he came quickly from behind, grabbed my arm, tried to rape me, at that moment I started to cry, he was trying to get me into his car, but luckily, a man passing by noticed the situation. First he saved me, then he caught the man who tried to kidnap me, they had a fight, a lot of people gathered around, and I was sitting on the ground, sobbing without knowing that I had just experienced the shock of the incident and maybe the rest of my life would pass at this moment. They informed my family, they came to pick me up, and we went home. When we got home, everyone was telling me that there’s nothing to be afraid of and that it’s over. Then i want to bed when i closed my eyes i went to that street i lived that moment again and again. I started to cry suddenly. Many nights after that were so fearful, I was feeling the fear of being kidnapped these thoughts were making me sick. I have became a completely introverted kid, I lost all my friends, I never even went to the park that I thought I would play in the next day. Years passed, middle school high school was always full of such moments, my life was officially built on fear. I started university and I was studying psychology. I had only one goal, to be good for people like me who live with their fears in their minds. One day i had to walk i got out of school it was night i was wearing my headphones and walking. Then i stopped. I faded away. But i realised that it was all an illusion. My mind has played games to me.
I realized that my entire life was going to be like this, I will always be a cautious person.And years later, it was just as I thought. Every moment of my life was spent with the thought that someone was following me, and I tried to live in this way.